Now that Ben's schedule is lighter (beautiful ambulatory rotations!) and my sister is living with us so we can play and chat to our heart's content, life seems full---without any social online fulfillment at all. What should I do when hobby loses it's savor?
I need to do some tweaking to figure myself out of my blogging indecision funk. Maybe sorting through the layers of issues will help me decide what to do...
1. Learning from Cecily:
Cecily is my good friend's sister. Her husband just died suddenly due to a heart problem. Now she's alone...with 8 kids. I've thought a lot about their circumstances. If that happened to me, what would I value?
I decided I'd want to read and reread the details of our life together. I would hope to have kept a vast record. Right now, I don't exactly have that.
As deeply as I feel about literacy, the importance of writing book reviews has begun to pale in comparison to keeping a detailed family record and real life relationships vibrant.
2. Worst ever juggler:
Women have a reputation for multi-tasking right? Well, this innately feminine quality has not yet to descend upon me. I can hardly boil pasta and stir a marinara sauce at the same time. The idea of keeping my personal journal, my boy's personal journals (which I have strong feelings about being handwritten), family photo album, a detailed family blog plus a reading blog afloat makes me consider sitting down with a stiff drink. (And I don't drink.) Maybe I haven't revealed the fact that writing takes me a bit of time. To give you an idea, I revise, edit and reedit text messages. Not exactly efficient.
Before this reading platform I kept a personal blog I adored. I wrote about what speaks to me-- everything from favorite smells to newspaper articles. It wasn't private, but it wasn't something I told people about at all. It was for me. And it was so fulfilling.
I've felt that this domain is a little more calculated, a little less authentic. Or at least I'm leaving a lot of my real thinking to try to stay true to books, "Photo Fridays" and a few "interesting" other thoughts that might seem interesting to readers.
4. Computer and phone full?!:
Our MacBook has kilobytes, kilobytes, of memory left. It's practically a miracle this machine works at all. We've put years of photos on our external hard drive and we still somehow don't have space. I think the blog book I started through blurb was the straw that broke the camel's back. To boot, my phone is also full. So taking pictures has not been on my radar for, well, way too long. Not convenient.
5. "Quiet" Time:
Seth has finally, at the age of 4+, given up his nap for good. He did quiet time beautifully in our old house, so no losses for me. But now that he and Noah share a room, places for him to have "quiet time" have at least tripled. And I haven't figured out the right rules to regulate a good quiet time in these circumstances. So that's all to say, my quiet time has decreased substantially. But my knack for playing firefighters, astronauts, pirates, World Cup and "two-year-old Sethy goes to the airport" has grown substantially.
And the clincher:
Instead of writing through it, *right decision*,
I've clammed up all together. *wrong decision*
So that's my conundrum.
- Give up entirely. Don't feel super great about that.
- Keep this blog going, but do a lot less book reviews and a lot more family, personal stuff...the problem: it's called celestereads.com
- Go back to old family blog only.
- Go back to old personal blog only.
- Start fresh with a new family/personal blog that I can work out my own thinking with, be a tinch more authentic, feel less limited.
- Never decide. (refer to first "Options" bullet point)